Finding peace in the mom you are today
Hey friends, it’s been a minute!
I’m so excited to be back writing this blog because this topic is close to my heart. Over the years, I’ve found that many of us connect deeply over motherhood and a shared lifestyle rhythm, and it’s such a gift to have this little community of women who encourage and uplift each other.
Within this community, I’ve felt the freedom to show up as my full, authentic self and to be met with biblical encouragement and reminders of what truly matters.
But if you’re a mom, a wife, a homemaker, or wear any of the many hats women often do, it’s so easy to fall into the mindset of not enough. Not doing enough, not being enough, not measuring up. Especially in the age of social media, where comparison is always just a scroll away.
You see one mom doing all the things perfectly planned outings, tidy schedules, fun crafts, spotless homes and it can leave you feeling stuck or inadequate. It’s hard to break out of the cycle of self-comparison and remember the beautiful truth: that we all have unique strengths, and those strengths matter.
What’s even harder is that we’re living in a time where true, supportive community is rare. In a more communal culture, our strengths would be celebrated and shared, instead of constantly being reminded of what we’re not doing or how we could be doing more.
One of my biggest wake-up moments came after I had my third baby. My friend Sara came by to pick up some sourdough loaves, and we ended up talking about how I always cook from scratch. I told her how I admired the way she was constantly taking her kids on adventures, staying active and engaged in such a different way.
After she left, it really hit me.
Some moms are natural planners, organizers, event people.
Other moms are grounded in the home, nourishing their families with food and rhythm and quiet steadiness.
Both are beautiful. Both are valid.
In homeschool communities especially, I’ve seen this truth shine. Moms with different strengths teach classes or lead activities, trading off and building each other up by using what comes naturally to them to bless others. That’s real, meaningful community.
Letting go of who you thought you’d be as a mom is hard. Really hard.
It took me a couple of years to realize I wasn’t going to be the version of motherhood I had in my head. I wasn’t going to overperform in every area. I wasn’t going to be able to fire on all cylinders all the time.
It’s really hard for me to be scheduled. It’s very hard for me to be an event planner.
It’s honestly really hard for me to manage tasks once I have to step outside the four walls of my home. I’m working on getting better at it, mostly for my kids, because they need to get out, socialize, and experience the world, but it hasn’t come naturally to me.
I’ve always struggled with social anxiety, so making that shift has taken intentional effort. What I’ve learned is that it’s okay to let go of the expectations we place on ourselves in the roles we carry. Growth doesn’t mean perfection. It just means we’re not giving up on ourselves.
There’s always room to improve, but we don’t have to master everything all at once. I’ve talked to so many women who feel like they have to excel at something the very first time they try it. But especially in motherhood, you have to find your own rhythm. What works for one family may not work for yours, and that’s okay.
For me, things like sleep training, baby purées, or even bottle feeding didn’t work. I dreaded pumping, and I had to accept that not every common method would fit my personality or our family dynamic.
In the beginning of this transition, of letting go of the mom I thought I would be, there was definitely a real grieving process. I struggled deeply with releasing the parts of myself that weren’t performing the way I expected. It felt like failure, even though it wasn’t. But like I mentioned earlier, this kind of letting go is a slow process.
Every day, you have the chance to choose again. To shift your mindset. To take a small step toward the kind of mom you’re meant to be, not the perfect version, but the real, growing, grace-filled one.
You were chosen for your kids. You were chosen to be their mom. That was not a mistake. Even on the days that feel heavy or messy, your role is sacred, and what you’re doing matters.
And remember, growth doesn’t always look like action. Sometimes it looks like stillness. Sometimes it’s rest. Sometimes it’s simply not giving up.
It’s also so important for us as moms to seek out real, encouraging community. Not spaces that promote comparison or constant self-improvement, but circles of women who remind you of your worth, your beauty, and your enoughness.
Instead of asking if you’re measuring up, ask yourself: Am I surrounded by people who build me up?
You were never meant to mother in isolation. There is so much healing in simply knowing you’re not the only one who finds life hard to navigate.
Motherhood is truly one of the most refining things we can walk through, just like any hard thing in life. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It means that God is working in us, purifying and sanctifying us through the fire. And that’s the beauty of it.
If you’re ever struggling with feeling like you’re not enough, or if you sense that you need to let go and rest in certain areas where you just don’t have the energy to keep overachieving, even though you are already doing wonderfully in so many other ways, I want to encourage you.
Take a step back. Remember that there are seasons in life. Things will shift and change. You can revisit those areas again when the time is right.
Your children love you for the mom you are right now, and they would be overjoyed to know that their mom was encouraged, uplifted, and supported in all of the strengths she has, and that she was at peace with the work she was doing. Because that’s the version of you they need the most.
So if you find yourself in a season of letting go, of old expectations, perfectionism, or the version of motherhood you once imagined, know this: God is not disappointed in you. He is refining you. He is drawing you closer to Him through every quiet, unseen moment.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
(2 Corinthians 12:9)
You don’t have to strive your way to worthiness. You don’t have to do it all to be enough. Rest in the truth that you are already loved, not for what you do, but for who you are in Christ.
Let His grace meet you in the dishes, in the mess, in the slow mornings, and in the moments you feel like you’re falling short. You were never meant to carry it all on your own.
I pray that you walk away from this post with a little more peace, a little more hope, and a reminder that you are doing holy work. Right here, right now, as you mother with grace and truth, even imperfectly.